


When an Angel Loves a Demon

by WevyrDove



Series: Heaven and Hell [4]
Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: And a little fluff, Angst, Demon!Dean, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reincarnation (sorta), Top!Cas, angel!cas - Freeform, bottom!Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 08:37:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5157239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WevyrDove/pseuds/WevyrDove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel must make the ultimate sacrifice to save Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last installment of the heaven and hell series. You can read it by itself but it's meant to be read together with the other installments.
> 
> Enjoy!  
> WD

Crowley was gone. Castiel and Sam were both sitting in the library, mulling over what the demon had told them.

“I won’t let you.” Sam protested. He gripped Castiel’s arm, squeezing to emphasize his words.

“It’s not your choice.” Castiel said calmly. He removed his arm from Sam’s grasp.

“Dean would never let you.” Sam tried again. “He would kill himself if he knew what you were planning.”

“Dean is dead to us anyhow if we do nothing.” Castiel responded.

He regarded Sam patiently. When Crowley had described what had to be done, a sense of serenity had settled over him. It all seemed so simple now. That peace was still with him. Sam however, was the opposite of calm. He had been angry and then despairing, and then angry again. For Castiel, there was no question. If there was a thing such as destiny, then this was his; to give all of himself for Dean Winchester.

It had been that way from the beginning; from the moment he pulled Dean out of hell, he knew that he would always be bound to him. He hadn’t expected to fall in love, and for so long he didn’t think he was. He had been ashamed to give into earthly pleasures, but he wasn’t strong enough to resist Dean in his demon form. Still, he thought he had protected his heart. All that pretense fell away and transformed into clarity when Crowley had posed the question: _Would you die to save Dean Winchester?_

“Please Cas.” Sam was begging now, tears in his eyes. He held Castiel’s hand between his own. “I won’t let you.”

“Sam.” Castiel hesitated. If it came down to it, would he be able to restrain Sam, if needed? One thing he was sure of, Sam could not be there when Castiel confronted Dean. “It has to be done.”

“No.” Sam put his head down on their hands, and Castiel felt his tears.

“I’m dying anyways, Sam.” Castiel murmured. He put out a hand to stroke Sam’s hair. “My grace- I haven’t told you the severity of my situation. It’s fading fast, faster than I can replace it. Even if I was willing to take it from another angel.”

Sam sniffled but didn’t lift his head.

“And Dean…” Castiel continued. “He has a chance to be human again. There’s a chance for you to get your brother back.”

Sam looked up now, his face wet, his eyes red. “What if it doesn’t work?” He whispered, his voice catching. “What if I lose you both?”

“I’ll do everything to bring Dean back to you.” Castiel promised. He squeezed Sam’s hand tightly.

“Try to bring yourself back too.” Sam pleaded.

…

Sam had agreed to stay in the bunker. Castiel wouldn’t tell him where he was planning to confront Dean anyhow. It ended up that Crowley offered the use of his office. The irony wasn’t lost on Castiel.

“I’ll be back to check on you.” Crowley drawled.

“Don’t bother.” Castiel said gruffly.

“So I guess this is goodbye?” Crowley murmured. “Pity. I’ll miss our tête–à–têtes.” He gave Castiel a searching glance.

“Goodbye, Crowley.” Castiel grunted.

Crowley left the room, and Castiel heard the click of a lock. He knew that it could only be opened from the outside, per their agreement.

Castiel paced around the pentagram that Crowley had prepared. There were extra runes that Castiel hadn’t seen before, but that would ensure that Dean would be contained until Castiel was ready to release him. Castiel wondered if it would work. He had tried summoning Dean before, but it hadn’t worked. Dean wasn’t a common demon after all. Crowley had given him a different incantation that should work.

Castiel didn’t think too much about where he might end up after this was over. He’d like to think he would join his brothers and sisters in heaven, but he feared that his transgressions were too many for that to be the case. And in any case, heaven for angels didn’t quite work the same way as for humans. If Castiel’s grace was completely gone, he would essentially be mortal. But Castiel didn’t have a soul in the same sense – once he was gone, he would be gone for good.

Oblivion didn’t sound that bad to him right now; Castiel was so tired, with an exhaustion that enveloped his entire being. In any case, nothingness was preferable to being in hell, and under Crowley’s dominion. Castiel suppressed a shudder at that thought.

Castiel bent to light the black candles that sat at each corner of the pentagram. He chanted softly. “ _Attenrobendum eos, ad consiendrum, ad ligandum eos, potiter et solvendum, et ad, congregontum eos, coram me._ ”

The candles flickered in an unseen breeze, and then Dean was there; his eyes black, a smirk on his face, and blood covering his hands and arms. He smiled broadly when he saw Castiel.

“You called?” He drawled, wiping his hands on his shirt and jeans carelessly. “Couldn’t get enough huh, angel?” He patted his pockets and withdrew a vial. “Want some more?”

“I want nothing from you, Dean.” Castiel said. He opened his arms to show he was unarmed.

“Aw, c’mon. I promise this one isn’t poisoned.” Dean pouted.

Castiel shrugged out of his trench coat, dropping it to the floor.

“Ooh, want to get right to it, angel?” Dean grinned again. He pocketed the vial.

“I have nothing to hide.” Castiel said. “I’m not here to hurt you.”

“Oh, I won’t hurt you either, baby.” Dean smirked. “Much.”

Castiel undid his tie and tossed it aside. He removed his belt and his shoes.

“Oh yeah, take it off, angel.” Dean urged. He watched Castiel intently. “Let me out of this little circle so I can help you.”

Castiel feet were bare, and he only wore his shirt and pants. He walked to the edge of the pentagram and used his foot to rub away at the edge of the circle. If Dean was surprised, he didn’t show it. He immediately lunged at Castiel as soon as the trap was broken.

Castiel didn’t resist. He let Dean knock him to the ground and straddle his legs. Dean’s smile wavered for a moment, and then was replaced with a sneer.

“What’s wrong, angel? Not fighting it anymore?” Dean taunted. He ran his hands roughly over Castiel’s body, ripping his pants open and palming him roughly.

“I won’t hurt you, Dean.” Castiel gritted. He should have felt disgust when Dean touched him. He should have been horrified that Dean still had blood on his hands. But even as he tried to remain impassive the hitch in his breath and the movement of his hips betrayed him.

“I’ll take you any way I can get you.” Dean growled. He tugged Castiel’s pants down and squeezed his ass hard. Castiel yelped, unable to suppress his reaction. “Mmm. Good little angel.” Dean praised as he caressed Castiel.

Dean paused to remove his shirt and then looked around as if noticing his surroundings for the first time. He laughed. “Wow. So that’s how you were able to call me. You must be desperate if you’re consorting with Crowley.”

Castiel said nothing. Dean noticed the armchair in one corner of the room. “Oh yes, that was where Crowley tried to get me to suck his cock. I bit him good. After that, he was sucking _my_ cock.”

Castiel felt unbidden jealousy rise up like bile in his throat. Had Dean been with Crowley the same way he had with Castiel? Something in his expression must have told Dean what he was thinking.

“Does that bother you, angel? Thinking of me bending the King of Hell over his desk? Oh I’d love to see you two fight over me.” Dean leered.

“No.” Castiel growled. He gasped when Dean reached down to grip him hard. But he couldn’t help the anger he suddenly felt. He had promised himself he would just get the job done, but now his feelings were interfering. He snarled and pushed Dean off of him.

“Yes. This is what I want, angel.” Dean said gleefully. “You’re so sexy when you’re mad.”

Castiel pounced on Dean and kissed him hard, nipping at the demon’s lips, their teeth clashing and tongues tangling. He raised Dean up and pushed him toward Crowley’s desk. He pulled his pants back up but didn’t bother fastening them. Castiel slammed Dean against the edge of the desk and felt satisfaction when the demon grunted.

Castiel ripped Dean’s jeans down and pressed his hardness against Dean’s bare ass. He put his hand on the back of Dean’s neck and forced his head down onto the surface of the desk. Dean pushed back against Castiel, and Castiel groaned. He didn’t wait another moment but pressed himself against Dean’s entrance and forced his way inside. Dean cried out but Castiel didn’t stop. He continued to press down on Dean’s neck as he rammed himself into the demon over and over. Dean moaned wantonly, pushing back against Castiel. It didn’t take much before he was coming with a roar, his ragged wings unfurling as he pumped himself into Dean. He released Dean abruptly and stepped back.

He felt ashamed afterwards, but he had been so angry. Now that it was over, he was full of remorse. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Dean stood up and Castiel could see his cum trailing down Dean’s thigh. When Dean turned to face him, Castiel saw Dean’s neglected cock jutting out from between his legs. The demon was smiling widely.

“Just like that time in the alley.” Dean leered. “Can’t control yourself, can you?”

“Sit.” Castiel commanded, pointing at the armchair that Dean had indicated before.

Dean raised his eyebrows but obeyed, kicking his jeans away as he made his way to the chair. He sat with his legs open, his cock erect and swollen. Castiel licked his lips as he regarded Dean. He pulled his pants back on and walked up to Dean. Keeping his eyes on Dean’s obsidian ones, he knelt before him, putting his hands on Dean’s thighs. He licked the trail of his own cum off on thigh and then pulled Dean’s cock into his mouth.

“Oh fuck!” Dean cursed. Castiel swirled his tongue over Dean’s length, and then started moving his mouth up and down along the shaft. Dean bucked up and fucked into Castiel’s throat, and Castiel let him. He wanted Dean to treat him as roughly as he had. He gagged but didn’t pull away. When Dean put his hands on Castiel’s head and pushed, Castiel groaned around Dean’s cock. He needed this. Dean pushed and thrusted, and Castiel’s throat opened for him. He wanted to swallow Dean completely. Too soon, Dean was coming, spurting his hot cum down Castiel’s throat. Castiel swallowed greedily. He coughed when Dean pulled out.

“Wow.” Dean gasped, slumping in the chair. “I should make you jealous more often. So, the other thing Crowley-“

“Shut up.” Castiel warned. “I don’t want to hear his name again.” He sat back on his heels.

Dean relented. “So what are you planning anyhow? You didn’t just call me here for this. Or did you?”

Castiel stood up. “I came here to save you.”

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. “This again? I thought we already went through this. I like the disease.”

“That’s not you talking.” Castiel stated.

“How would you know?” Dean growled.

“I’m tired, Dean.” Castiel sat down heavily on the floor.

“I can help you with that.” Dean said eagerly. “No tricks, no poison this time. I already have the grace.”

“No. We already went through this, as you said.” Castiel refused.

Dean stood and pulled his jeans up. He went over to sit by Castiel.

“I’m tired of chasing you.” Castiel said. He let his head rest on Dean’s shoulder.

“So where do we go from here?” Dean mused. “’Can’t live with you, can’t live without you’?”

Castiel shook his head. “You have to learn to live without me.”

“What are you saying, Cas?” Dean looked at him sharply.

Castiel cupped Dean’s face tenderly. “I love you, Dean.”

Before Dean could react, Castiel kissed him. At the same time, the angel slid the blade concealed in his sleeve out and pushed it between his own ribs, gasping against Dean’s lips. His grace started weeping from the wound, but Castiel summoned all his will and forced it back inside, where it gathered together. He cupped Dean’s face with both hands and held him fast, deepening the kiss. Dean’s eyes were green and wide, and he tried to pull away, tried to reach for the blade protruding from Castiel’s chest. But Castiel had tricked him into sitting back in the now intact sigil and had somehow immobilized him.

Dean continued to struggle, but Castiel was using all his remaining strength, expending a precious bit of grace to keep Dean from escaping. Finally he let his grace flow into Dean, letting it stream from his mouth into Dean’s, where it entered into the demon’s body. Castiel gasped and let Dean go. Dean was howling, with pain and betrayal, writhing within the circle as Castiel’s grace burned through him and healed him. Castiel was fading as he watched Dean fighting the change, convulsing and screaming. Castiel let his cheek touch the cool floor. His last thought before it all faded to black was that he hoped Dean would forgive him.

…

Dean blinked. He was lying on his back on the floor, staring at the ceiling of what looked to be Crowley’s office. He could never forget those monstrous frescoes. According to Crowley, they were replicas of the panels depicting the damned in ‘The Last Judgment’ found in the Duomo in Florence.

His body was sore and he felt more exhausted than he had ever been in his life. His throat was raw and parched. He sat up carefully, palpating his body for any wounds or broken bones. Everything seemed fine, even though he had clearly been through the wringer. He stood up gingerly and looked around. His breath caught when he saw the prone figure on the floor. He knelt beside Castiel and tried to rouse him. When he tried to lift Castiel into a sitting position, his body was floppy and heavy. Dean felt despair growing in his chest as he tried again to wake Castiel.

“Cas!” Dean shouted into Castiel’s face.

He felt for a pulse, there was nothing; although he wasn’t quite sure if he would feel a pulse, despite Castiel’s human vessel. Castiel still felt warm, so Dean wasn’t ready to give up. It didn’t seem like Castiel was breathing. Dean felt like a vise was gripping his heart.

“Cas!” Dean tried again. “Cas!”

He shook Castiel and the angel’s head lolled. Dean choked on a sob. He didn’t believe it. “Cas!”

His memories of his time as a demon were returning in a rush now, and he was seeing so much blood and violence in his mind’s eye. Too many victims, both human and supernatural, some innocent and some guilty. Dean moaned with the weight of so many deaths. And also he remembered Castiel; Castiel fighting with him, Castiel fucking him, Castiel telling him he loved him. Castiel making the ultimate sacrifice.

“Oh God. Cas!” Dean howled. He let himself cry freely. He wanted to die. He had committed so many atrocities. Why would Castiel do this? Why didn’t Castiel kill him?

Dean cradled Castiel’s lifeless body. “How could you?” He felt shame, anger, sorrow and regret. He screamed with a pain that had nothing to do with his physical aches. “Cas! How could you?”

“So. He did it.” A familiar voice drawled.

Dean whipped around, tears still streaming down his face. “Crowley! You did this! You tricked him!”

“He did it.” Crowley repeated. “I didn’t force him. He wanted to. I barely helped.” He looked at Dean with pity. “Despite everything, Castiel’s biggest weakness was always you.”

“Bring him back!” Dean demanded. “You’re the King of Hell, bring him back! Bring him back any way you can! As a demon, I don’t care!”

“I’m afraid matters of angel resurrection are out of my jurisdiction. I’m not even quite sure where angels go when they die.” Crowley shrugged, but his expression was sympathetic.

“Cas…” Dean sobbed. “Why?” He hugged Castiel’s body close and rocked him.

“Because. He loved you.” Crowley grimaced with distaste as he watched Dean continue to cry over Castiel’s body. “This is a bit too morbid, even for me.”

Crowley snapped his fingers.

 

“Dean!” Sam cried out. “Dean! Oh my God!” He rushed over to where his brother had suddenly appeared with Castiel. “Cas! You did it!”

“Sammy…” Dean sobbed. He let his brother enfold him in his arms, but he remained on the floor cradling Castiel.

“Dean…” Sam saw the tears running down Dean’s face and then looked at Castiel lying in Dean’s arms. “Oh God…Cas…he’s…”

“He’s gone, Sammy!” Dean keened. Sam wrapped his arms around Dean again and sobbed with him.

…

They cried together for a long time, huddled together with Cas. When the angel’s body started stiffening, they laid him on a bed and continued to weep. When night rolled around, they took Castiel out to the woods behind the bunker and made a bier. Dean’s tears had dried but his heart ached with a pain that he never expected. _Cas…_

Sam said his goodbye, and then stepped back to give Dean some privacy.

“I-“ Dean began, and then the tears started anew. “You stupid feathery asshole.” He gasped. He swiped at his tears angrily. “I can’t believe you’d leave me. I can’t believe you’d kill yourself to save me. I’m just a fucking stupid asshole human.” Dean kicked at the ground with a frustrated scream.

“Dean.” Sam said softly. He debated whether or not to go to his brother.

Dean’s shoulders slumped with defeat. “You’re gone. And I’m still here. I know why you did it but it still isn’t fair.”

He reached out to stroke Castiel’s cold cheek. “I-“ He struggled to say it even now. “I hope you knew.”

He grabbed two sticks and lit them, beckoning Sam over to take one. They set fire to the bier together, watching the flames catch and engulf Castiel’s empty vessel. They stood side by side, not touching, not saying anything to each other. Sam stayed until the flames died down. He clapped Dean on the shoulder, and left his brother still standing there.

Dean kept vigil until morning.


	2. Epilogue

Life went back to normal for Sam and Dean. Or at least, back to what their “normal” was. They hunted monsters and demons, and for once both heaven and hell were quiet. Dean’s grief lessened as the months passed, but it was always there just below the surface; a dull ache that turned into a more acute pain if he disturbed it. He dreamed about Castiel sometimes, but in the dream Castiel was a little boy of about 5 or 6 years of age. In the dreams, Dean was always teaching Castiel something new; how to fly a kite, how to bait a fishing line, how to play cards. The dreams were always pleasant and simple, and Castiel was always eager to learn what Dean had to teach him. At the end of the dream before he woke up, Castiel always hugged Dean and told him he loved him. Dean would open his mouth to reply, but he always woke before he could say anything.

He never told Sam about these dreams. They were something he held close to his heart. He liked to think they were sent to him by Castiel. But Castiel was gone. Dean felt the angel’s absence, not just in his own life, but like a presence that was missing from the universe. And the universe was poorer for it.

…

They were fueling up at the local Gas‘n’Sip when Dean noticed a little boy sitting at the picnic table outside the store by himself. As he waited for Sam to finish talking to the clerk, he watched the boy, waiting for an adult to come out to claim him. When the only other car pulled out of the lot and the boy still sat there, Dean decided to check on him.

“Hello.” Dean said, crouching down to the kid’s level. He stifled a gasp when the boy looked at him. The child had a mop of dark brown hair and cerulean blue eyes. His expression was serious as he regarded Dean.

“Hi.” The kid answered. He swung his legs back and forth.

“Are you waiting for your mom or dad?” Dean asked.

The kid shook his head. Dean noted that the kid seemed to be unharmed and aside from his hair needing a good brushing, he was clean and neat.

“Grandparent?” Dean wondered.

The kid shook his head again.

“Aunt or uncle?” Dean tried.

Again a shake of the head.

“Well, you can’t be here by yourself, kid.” Dean said, exasperated. “Someone must be looking for you.”

“No. I’m looking for someone.” The kid replied gravely.

“Who?” Dean asked.

“Dean Winchester.” The boy answered, and his eyes met Dean in a stare that seemed familiar.

Dean gaped. It couldn’t be. He looked the same as he appeared in Dean’s dreams but that could be a coincidence. When he spoke Dean’s name, Dean knew it was him.

“How do I explain this to Sam?” Dean whispered in awe.

“Sam will understand.” The boy said. He put his hand in Dean’s and Dean could only marvel at the warmth and solidity of the small palm in his large one. The boy slipped off the bench and stood next to Dean.

“What’s your name?” Dean spoke reverently.

“I don’t know.” The boy said. “Do you?” He looked confused and cocked his head to the side.

“Cas.” Dean smiled.

The boy smiled in response. “Oh. Now I remember.” He wrapped his arms around Dean. “I love you, Dean.”

Dean closed his eyes, tears prickling behind his lids as he held the boy tightly.

And finally, he could speak what had been unsaid for so long.

“I love you too, Cas.”

**Author's Note:**

> And thus concludes the Heaven and Hell series. This was my very first MCD fic. I hope the ending softened the blow.  
> xoxo,  
> WD


End file.
